Back bends

Last night I did a back bend from a standing position. Something I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to do again. It wasn’t pretty and definitely not perfect but I did it. And it felt amazing. I haven’t been able to do one of those since I was a kid and it really showed me just how far I have come in my fitness journey. Seeing and feeling my body transform has been such an interesting experience. It’s almost surreal to see the differences from two years ago when all of this first started to now. I’m reaching goals I thought would be impossible. And constantly surprising myself.

Losing weight has never been my main goal even though I have lost quite a bit. I really just wanted to feel strong and healthy again. I wanted to be able to keep up with my kids and not feel so out of shape all of the time. I wanted to have a body that I felt belonged to me. I wanted to take back control of my health and my lifestyle. And all of my hard work is finally paying off. I feel stronger than I ever have and have more endurance than I did before. I feel like I’m getting closer and closer to being my true self.

Being in shape and living a healthy lifestyle have always been very important to me. I felt like a big part of me was missing when I went through a period of time where I didn’t get to put a lot of focus on my physical health. For so long I felt like I couldn’t connect to the person I saw in the mirror. Like it wasn’t the real me. Now though I can finally look in the mirror and recognize who I see. Someone that is strong and loves who I’m becoming. Feeling more like myself again truly is an amazing experience. I know I still have a long way to go with my mental health and healing from the damage of my past but I also believe physical and mental health go hand in hand.

I know I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t put as much hard work into my physical health as I did my mental health. Changing my eating habits and exercising has really helped me mentally. I feel like I think so much clearer on the days that I take care of my body. And I always notice a difference in my mood the days I may slack off a little. The feeling I get when I reach one of my fitness goal, such as a back bend, also really puts me in a good place. No matter how my days go I can look in the mirror and see the physical difference of what taking care of myself has achieved. Which reminds me of how far I’ve come in all areas of my life. I’ve come so far and I know I’ll never go back to the person I used to be.

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